A Different Look at Valentine's Day

First, let me admit that Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday. When I was single the first time, I called it "Single's Awareness Day." I got so sick of seeing all the stuffed animals and heart candies in the store, and especially tired of all the commercials about jewelry (which is surprising because I like jewelry). Not only was it a reminder that, once again, no one was buying me flowers, but it also seemed so superficial. If you need Valentine's Day to show your special someone that you think they are special, then something is wrong with your relationship. You should be showing them how special they are on any day of the year because you want to, not because the calendar or commercials told you to.

I entered February trying to find a reason to like Valentine's Day. I even looked up the history of the stupid holiday and didn't manage to find anything that made it valid in my mind. It wasn't until I received one of Meg Johnson's monthly messages that something finally clicked.

For those of you who are like me and strongly dislike this holiday, let me present a new way of looking at it. Instead of focusing on the fact that you are single and no one is giving you jewelry or flowers, focus on the little things in life that people have done for you, or that you can do for them.

As I started thinking about Valentine's Day in this way, I remembered the numerous emails that I have received from people since I started this blog, most of whom I barely know or don't know at all. I have received messages of thanks for sharing my story. Others have offered encouragement and support. These messages have picked me up when I needed it most. It's been truly touching.

So, in my new spirit of Valentine's Day, I would like to thank each of you who have supported me or lifted me in one way or another. You've been a little miracle in my life. When I started this blog, I didn't think anyone would read it, or that it would make a difference. It's funny how things work themselves out, even if it is in some small and simple way.

My challenge to you for this Valentine's Day is that instead of feeling bad that you are, once again, facing this holiday alone, find someone to serve. Trust me, it will make all the difference in the world. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to look at Valentine's Day a little differently too.

The Blessing of Children

As I've gotten older, I often feel like some of the magic has left things like Christmas, Disneyland, and especially snow. The last few months, I've been reminded of just how magical life can be because there's nothing like seeing the world through a child's eyes.

I went to Disneyland with my sister's family in October. I never tire of Disneyland, but there is a new element added when you are there with an 18 month old and a 4 year old. Watching them was so much fun! There was excitement and wonder in their faces as they discovered the magic of Disney.

We just celebrated Christmas. My youngest niece would gasp every time she opened a present. It didn't matter if it was a toy or clothing. She gasped! How often do you gasp with excitement for every gift you receive?

Tubing with my niece and nephew.

I usually am not a fan of snow. It's cold and wet, and in turn, makes me wet and cold. My nieces are up from Arizona and absolutely love the snow. They were so excited that there were snowflakes falling from the sky and had to make sure every one knew about it. We played in the snow and we took them tubing. I haven't been tubing in years, but I was reminded of how much fun it was.

The lesson in all this? Don't forget the magic of childhood. More importantly, make time for the things that matter most, like family and making memories that will last.

In the end, it's your relationship with others that matters most. 
So make the most of it.

Come Thou Fount

Artwork by Greg Olsen

Have you ever noticed that trials come as packages? The familiar saying, "When it rains, it pours" is frequently used to describe life's trials. I have found when it comes to dealing with trials, you can choose to go one of two ways. The first path is to become angry and bitter and turn away from the Lord. The second is to become more humble and accepting of the Lord's will.

Sometimes I struggle to feel positive about my situation. However, my frustrations have never been directed at the Lord. I've never considered turning away. Slowly, but surely, I'm learning to hand my will over to my Father in Heaven and accept His plan for me. I'm learning to laugh at the situations I've been in, mainly because sometimes the only thing left to do IS laugh.

Lately I've been very overwhelmed with juggling work, school, my church calling, and chores around the house. Trying to find that balance is difficult, yet the Lord will make up the difference. One of my favorite hymns is Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. The message contained in that song is beautiful. It speaks of mercy from heaven, angels' protection, the atonement, and ends with handing your heart over to the Lord. What a testimony this song is of the Lord's love for each of us.

My hope is that if you are going through trials, you will choose to take the path that leads to a humble heart and accepting the Lord's will. I'm a firm believer in the power of music. So, if you are struggling with which path to choose in your own struggle with trials, listen to this song and see where your heart takes you. You don't have to be perfect. That's why the Savior gave His life for us and provided a way for each of us to be forgiven and return to Him.

Half Empty or Half Full?

I recently watched Disney's Finding Nemo with my nieces and nephews. I love the story they tell in this movie because there are so many moments that relate to life. In the movie, Marlin is searching for his son and meets another fish named Dory. Marlin and Dory are complete opposites.

Marlin is very realistic and synical, what some would call a pessimist. Dory, on the other hand, is happy and intensely optimistic. Toward the end of the show, Marlin and Dory are inside a whale and the water starts to go down in the whale's mouth. Marlin starts to get upset and states, "The water's going down! Look, it's already half empty."

Dory immediately responds, "Huh, I'd say it's more half full." Dory is a great example of someone who makes the best of every situation, no matter what.

I'm sure you've all heard the question posed, "Is the glass half empty? Or, is the glass half full?"Next time you take a look at a glass, ask yourself that question, "Which is it, half empty or half full?"

If you are constantly looking at the glass half empty, you will most likely view life the same way. There is no reason for a glass not to be considered half full. Start calling it that, and soon it will stick.

Even on your toughest days, find something, anything to start filling that glass. You'll be surprised at the effect it will have. Be a Dory, and watch how it spreads to others.

Heroes

"Every once in a while, someone comes into our life who 

changes us for the better and makes a lasting impact. 

We call these people heroes. . ."

I don't share this video to brag about how amazing my father was. He was one of the most humble people you would ever meet. I share this because my father is the perfect example of someone who was a hero to so many people, yet did so in small ways. You don't have to be flashy or do something big to be noticed. You don't have to risk your life. You have the ability to be a hero to someone by the small and simple things you do each day.

My heart goes out to all those heroes, especially those in the armed forces, who have risked and still do risk their lives each day to protect the freedoms we so frequently take for granted. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made!

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.

Who will you be a hero for?

Lessons Learned in Cincinnati

Recently, I had the opportunity to go to Cincinnati, Ohio for work to help at a booth for a conference. As my coworker and I were walking into the convention center on day two, we were greeted by one of the building staff members. He smiled his contagious smile and asked how we were. We responded with a simple “Good. How are you?”  His response surprised me. Amazingly, his smile got even bigger and he replied, “Blessed! Truly blessed!”

Now that may sound corny, but this guy was so sincere with his response that I couldn’t help but believe him and smile. I had expected, “Good. Thanks for asking.” It’s a common greeting that really means nothing anymore. This gentleman gave me an answer I couldn’t help but hear and personally respond to. He didn’t say just “good” or “fine.” He was feeling blessed and wanted to share that with everyone around him. He probably had no idea how contagious his attitude would be, but his response and overwhelming excitement will never be forgotten. What an awesome reminder that we really are truly blessed!

I had a similar experience with another lady that I met while there. She was a staff member at one of the restaurants we had eaten at a couple of times. The first time we went there, she was preparing the food orders and as we were leaving, she flashed her contagious smile and hollered at us with her fun accent, “Ya’ll have a Happy Mother’s Day! Don’t forget Sunday is Mother’s Day!” We talked to her the next day as we were waiting for our food. She shared her story about significant struggles in her personal and family life. I was amazed she could be so happy and caring. What a charming lady! She was determined to leave a lasting impact on the people she served food to. I can tell you, she was succeeding and loving every minute of it.

What an awesome experience. It was a good reminder that we may not be able to control the situations around us, but we can control our attitude and outlook on life. This man and woman provided me a service without meaning to or even realizing it.

It’s all in your attitude. What will yours be? If you stop to think about it, we really are all blessed.

Truly Blessed!

Count Your Blessings

It's amazing how much can happen in a year. A year ago today I received a phone call telling me my husband had been killed in a car accident. It's hard to believe I've been a widow for a year.

I've reflected a lot on the person I've become since getting that call. I've felt peaceful and calm all day today, which is a miracle and a blessing. Rather than crying and wishing I had a different lot in life, my mind has been filled with the words to the hymn "Count Your Many Blessings."

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is over all.

Count your many blessings; angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

Count your blessings; Name them one by one.

Count your many blessings; See what God hath done.

 

For some reason, that song really hit home this week – especially today. I'd be lying if I said I never felt like I'd been tossed around in the storm of life or that I was being asked to go through too much. Richard G. Scott addresses this well. "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. . . they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching. This life is an experience in trust in Jesus Christ." ("Trust in the Lord")

Life tosses us in a tempest, but the Lord is there to calm the storm. Everyone has burdens, but the Lord is there to help carry the load. No matter the conflict, God is there. Angels WILL attend and help and comfort will be given. Could we ask for better blessings? 

What good does it do to sit and only think about all the negative in your life? I have plenty of reason to complain. I became a widow after seven and a half months of a marriage filled with trials and a husband facing multiple health challenges. I unexpectedly lost my dad 3 months later. Like everyone else, I have personal trials. In spite of all that, I have so many blessings: a fantastic job that I love, an amazing family, great friends, and a testimony of the gospel. I know that families are eternal. What wonderful blessings!!!

I dare you to stay discouraged and depressed while listing all the many blessings in your life. If you can't think of anything, start small. Perhaps the sun is shining. Maybe you got to sleep in. Perhaps you saw the first tulip blooming in your yard. These are all blessings. Start a list and see what God has done for you.

I am not wallowing in self pity today. Instead, I have been filled with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and love! I am so blessed. I've been a widow for a year, but I've survived. I'm stronger than I was last year at this time. I know more than I did a year ago. I feel like I'm starting a new beginning, and what better time to start anew than spring. I know Reed and my dad are OK, and amazingly enough, I know that I will be OK, too! 

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.