What I Learned from Snails

Eighteen months ago, I was called to serve as a leader in the Young Women's organization at church. With this calling, I was also put in charge of Personal Progress. In the program, the leaders are encouraged to work on Personal Progress along with the girls. So, I chose to grow and maintain a vegetable garden over the summer to fulfill one of the projects. I learned more than I expected.

Part of the garden included a plan for a small pumpkin patch and I frequently checked on the progress of the plants. For two weeks, I watched the progress of the pumpkin plants with pride and anticipation for how great the pumpkins would be.

Then, one day I went out and noticed that one of the pumpkin plants had been chopped off. At least that's what I thought had happened. The second pumpkin plant looked slightly tattered and the leaves seemed to be torn. I was really confused and thought maybe it wasn't getting enough water. So, I made sure to leave the water on longer to give it a boost.

I went out the next day to check on the surviving plant and found it to had been chopped to the ground, too. At this point, I realized something wasn't right and began to look around the garden for signs of what had happened. That's when I came across several snails hiding in the flower bed next to the vegetable garden. That's when I realized, the pumpkin plants hadn't been cut and vandalized by some cruel neighbor. No, they had been eaten by the nasty snails in the garden. I was both furious and sad. My beautiful pumpkin plants were gone!

Once the cause of the problem was discovered, I left for the hardware store, purchased several bags of poison to take care of the snails, and also bought new pumpkin plants to replace the devoured patch. From that day on, I had a vendetta against slugs and snails and went through several bags of poison. Luckily, my abrasive actions and unwillingness to surrender allowed us to have the pumpkins we hoped for.

This turned into a great metaphor for me and I now understand why growing a garden is one of the suggested activities to learn more about faith. When I started the project, I thought the goal was to have faith that a seed would produce fruit or vegetables and that faith and a garden had to be constantly cared for. It turns out that the lesson I learned was deeper than I expected. Yes, faith must be cared for, just like a garden must be watered and weeded. The pumpkin plants represented the faith each of us have. Faith has potential to grow into something great, but we must be diligent. I was not diligent in protecting new pumpkin plants from snails that saw the plant as dinner. Worldly influences can be like the snails and slowly devour our faith if we don't protect ourselves and do the gospel basics to keep us strong like praying, reading the scriptures, and going to church.

If for some reason our faith is attacked and diminished, the Lord allows us to repent and start over. Just like I had to replant the pumpkins and continue to lay snail bait the rest of the summer, we also have the opportunity to make things right, adjust our course, and put up protective barriers to help us stay strong. It may take work and it may not always be easy, but the reward at the end is irreplaceable and so incredibly worth it!

Finding the Perfect Fit: What Shoe Shopping and Dating have in Common.

Have you ever been in a relationship and been dumped or watched a friend go through a relationship? You're not alone. For those who are currently going through this phase of their life, and even those who have graduated from being single, you can all relate to this analogy. Hopefully, this analogy will encourage those who are scared of relationships or rejection and help them find a fun way to look at their situation. 

Last year, one of my really good friends got into a relationship and  began to freak herself out about the whole thing. (I think it's a right of passage when you are in the dating world.) We had several conversations during her relationship—one of which led to a rather interesting analogy. Knowing that girls like to shop, I told her to look at dating like she shops for shoes.

Crazy, right? Not really. Think about how you shop for shoes. Do you go into the store, grab a box off the shelf, buy it without trying it on, and walk out? If you do, you're a minority, and with all due respect, probably crazy or have an obsession with making returns.

We all know different brands fit differently. A size 8 in Nike may not be the same size 8 in Adidas or Reebok. Leather fits differently than fabric. Sandals fit differently than tennis shoes. So, why would dating be any different? Each shoe is a new person to go on a date with. You don't pick a shoe up off the shelf immediately and put it on. You look at it and decide if you even like it enough to try it on. Taking a pair of shoes off the shelf doesn't mean you are purchasing the shoe. Going on a date with a person doesn't guarantee an offer of marriage. Thank goodness!

Once you decide you want to try the shoe on, you put it on and walk around the aisle to see how it fits. Not all shoes are made equal, just like not all dating matches are made equal. Sometimes personalities just don't click, just like some shoes won't work for your feet. Even if you put the shoe on, it doesn't mean you are buying the shoe.

Girls look for a second opinion before making a purchase. That's why we go shopping with friends, and shoe shopping is not an exception to this rule. This phase of the shoe shopping is no different than the potential significant other meeting friends and family. You're just getting a second opinion. At this point, you may take the shoe off, walk around some more in the shoe, or decide you want to make the purchase. Either way, you still haven't bought the shoe. The box can go back on the shelf at any time and you can choose to walk away.

When you do finally find a shoe that fits right, is the right price, and have your confirming second opinion from the friend or family you are shopping with, that's when you make the purchase. See how it fits? (No pun intended.)

So, next time you are freaking yourself out about a relationship, or know someone who is freaking themselves out about their relationship, just tell them they're shopping for shoes. Parts of the experience aren't always positive. (Just ask my mom—she hates going shoe shopping with me.) But, in the end it's worth the time spent when you walk out with a perfect fit. No one wants to go through life without shoes....ever. Imagine a 10 mile hike in bare feet. Ouch! That's why we have shoe stores!

Start shopping and have some fun. You don't have to purchase the shoes, just start browsing and see what happens.

My Most Cherished Memory

I've been taking writing workshops at work. One of the topics we were given to write about in a session was our most cherished memory. As I started writing, I realized I couldn't pin it down to just one. Instead, I ended up with a collection of cherished memories that centered around one theme. I've shared the memories that stood out first below.

Growing up we drove to Southern Alberta several times a year to visit my mom's parents. These car rides were  tedious because we were stuck in a car for 12 hours. However, they also left priceless time for making memories and bonding.

Shortly after CDs came out, my brother bought a transmitter that would connect to the car radio. We were listening to a CD and a song came on that my mom was not particularly a fan of. The chorus of the song, Return to Innocence, drove her crazy. Being the kids we were, we found it hilarious and made it a tradition to play the song during every road trip to Canada. The best part was my dad joined in. Instead of turning the radio off, he would turn the volume up. My mother never knew when the song would come, but when it did it was loud and we all sang along just to annoy her and entertain ourselves at the same time. This is one of those continuing experiences that we still laugh about as a family.

Every trip to Canada also involved staying with my grandparents. Their basement created a great area for kids to play games. One summer, we played roller blade hockey with ping pong balls and paddles in their basement, using old chairs as the goals. It's amazing we didn't break anything, including bones. My grandparents never got mad at us for the noise or the mess we made. I think they liked hearing the laughter and shouts coming up the stairs.

The last memory that stood out was a fall trip to Canada. My grandparents lived in an old neighborhood with big trees, so there were lots of leaves to rake. We spent hours raking the leaves into a large pile and then took turns jumping into them. I still remember my grandpa sitting on the porch laughing at the simplicity of our game and the joy it brought.

My family as of April 2013.

What do all these memories mean? It means time spent with my family produces my most cherished memories. There is more than one memory I can list, but at the root of each memory is my family. There's not much you can take with you when you leave this mortal existence. Family and your relationships with others is something you can take. The time I've spent with my family is my most cherished memory because it's continuous and never ends.

My family is part of what defines who I am. What helps define you? If you don't have an answer, take a few minutes and figure out what your most cherished memories are. Whatever is at the root, is most likely the thing that has impacted you the most for the better.

Lessons Learned in Cincinnati

Recently, I had the opportunity to go to Cincinnati, Ohio for work to help at a booth for a conference. As my coworker and I were walking into the convention center on day two, we were greeted by one of the building staff members. He smiled his contagious smile and asked how we were. We responded with a simple “Good. How are you?”  His response surprised me. Amazingly, his smile got even bigger and he replied, “Blessed! Truly blessed!”

Now that may sound corny, but this guy was so sincere with his response that I couldn’t help but believe him and smile. I had expected, “Good. Thanks for asking.” It’s a common greeting that really means nothing anymore. This gentleman gave me an answer I couldn’t help but hear and personally respond to. He didn’t say just “good” or “fine.” He was feeling blessed and wanted to share that with everyone around him. He probably had no idea how contagious his attitude would be, but his response and overwhelming excitement will never be forgotten. What an awesome reminder that we really are truly blessed!

I had a similar experience with another lady that I met while there. She was a staff member at one of the restaurants we had eaten at a couple of times. The first time we went there, she was preparing the food orders and as we were leaving, she flashed her contagious smile and hollered at us with her fun accent, “Ya’ll have a Happy Mother’s Day! Don’t forget Sunday is Mother’s Day!” We talked to her the next day as we were waiting for our food. She shared her story about significant struggles in her personal and family life. I was amazed she could be so happy and caring. What a charming lady! She was determined to leave a lasting impact on the people she served food to. I can tell you, she was succeeding and loving every minute of it.

What an awesome experience. It was a good reminder that we may not be able to control the situations around us, but we can control our attitude and outlook on life. This man and woman provided me a service without meaning to or even realizing it.

It’s all in your attitude. What will yours be? If you stop to think about it, we really are all blessed.

Truly Blessed!

Just Keep Paddling

Last week I went on vacation with my mom and my brother and his family. We went up to the beautiful paradise that is Waterton Lakes National Park, Alberta, Canada. Growing up, Waterton was like a second home to me. We had a great time but it was very different not having my dad there. All part of finding a new normal and adjusting.

Heading out from Farmer's Bay for our kayaking adventure.

While we were there, my brother decided we should go on the kayaking trip he had done two years ago. So, my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephew, my cousin, and I all went. We started the trip on a beautiful, calm, clear morning. The lower lake was smooth as glass, which is highly unusual for Waterton because there is ALWAYS wind. It was beautiful! The sun was shining, there were very few clouds in the sky, it was a perfect day for a kayaking trip. Or so we thought. . .

Scott, Tyler, Stacy and Jenny on Lower Waterton Lake. 
Jason is taking the picture. This is one of the last pictures we
took before his camera died.

About an hour in, we heard thunder out on the prairie. When the lightning started, my brother told us to keep to the shore line so that we wouldn't become lightning rods out in the middle of the lake with aluminum oars. So, we stuck to the shore for safety's sake. The storm rolled in VERY fast. We were paddling about 10 yards off the shore when a huge wind storm started up. We hastily pulled out, dragged the 5 kayaks to a tree, and made a shelter. It started to rain just as the last kayak was put into place. Storms normally pass quickly in Waterton, so we weren't too concerned and just planned to wait out the wind. At this point, we couldn't just end the trip. We weren't anywhere near a road for my mom to meet us and pick up the kayaks, so we had to keep going.  Just as the wind died down, the hailstorm started. I must say, kayaks make pretty good shelters for hailstorms.

Once the storm passed, we hopped back in the kayaks and called my mom to tell her we would be 20 minutes later than planned because we had to pull out and asked her to pick us up at a pull out closer than the original pick-up location. As we started paddling again, I realized just how tired my arms were. My cousin, Scott, and my sister-in-law, Stacy, were close to my kayak. I jokingly stated that this experience of paddling in the rain had to be a metaphor for life. Stacy laughed and said, "Surely I could use this in a gospel doctrine lesson!" And we kept paddling, hoping the river would show up soon so we could get out before the rain got worse.

Our luck for the trip held out. We got to the pull out and talked with two fisherman there that said the road was closed and they had to hike in. Jason, my brother, made another call to my mom and told her to go back to plan A. We continued on the river, all of us tired. Half way through the river we encountered another hailstorm. This time, there was no where for us to pull out. I've never been caught in a hailstorm without shelter, but I pity those who have now. I know what it's like to have pea-sized hailstones pelting your bare arms. Luckily I had a baseball cap and sunglasses on so I could still see. However, when the wind picked up with the hailstones, I had to put the nose of my kayak into the bank. My cousin Scott was with me and I told him if I was going to make it to the end of the lake, I wouldn't be able to paddle against the wind. He anchored with me and waited out the hailstorm.

The pull-out at Knight's Lake. My mom took this picture
to show the "Soaked Ragamuffins" at the end of the trip.

 We finally got out of the river and onto the last lake. It's amazing how close a shore can look and yet be so far away. We saw the two cars watching for us on the lookout and I knew the end was in sight. I was so close to being done kayaking in the rain. We were drenched, hungry, and cold. We started cutting across the lake and my mom was waving at us. I was exhausted at this point and really didn't want to keep pulling. I was so tempted to just stop and let the wind blow me wherever it wanted to. I mentioned this to my cousin and he so wisely said, "Well Jenny, if you are going to do that, you may as well paddle all the way back to the beginning." I cringed at that thought, put my focus on my mom and started singing, "Just keep paddling. Just keep paddling. Just keep paddling, paddling, paddling." Over and over again, until I reached the shore. Our two hour trip turned into three and a half hours. That was the end of my kayaking trips for the week.

This kayaking trip, in a way, represents the last year of my life. The journey started out smooth, calm, beautiful and exciting. That was last summer for me when I got engaged and married. Then the storms hit. My husband, Reed, started getting very ill. The first hailstorm represented Reed's car accident and passing. My family, friends, and the temple provided shelter from that storm. Just like you can't stop living and give up, we had to get back in the kayaks and start paddling again. Our journey wasn't done. The rain continued, but we pressed forward with the end goal in mind. The second hailstorm was my dad's passing. We had no choice but to face it and keep moving. I stopped momentarily, but I didn't give up. The final leg of the journey on the river and the second lake in the rain represents what I'm pushing through now.

My picture of triumph. I made it through!

I've had two really big hailstorms in my life in the last six months, but I've had to keep paddling. My end goal is to obtain the blessings of eternity, to be with Reed and my dad again! Life is full of storms, whether it is rain, hail, snow, or thunder. We are all on the kayak trip of life. I was reminded that I can do hard things, I can keep paddling when I feel like giving up. I was reminded that I can face hard things and keep paddling!

I got in the kayak that morning looking forward to a nice calm ride. I got so much more! That experience keeps coming back to me. On my toughest days, when I want to give up, I hear myself singing, "Just keep paddling" while kayaking in a storm across a lake.

It IS possible. The trip WILL end. The blue skies WILL return. 

JUST KEEP PADDLING!