Finding the Perfect Fit: What Shoe Shopping and Dating have in Common.

Have you ever been in a relationship and been dumped or watched a friend go through a relationship? You're not alone. For those who are currently going through this phase of their life, and even those who have graduated from being single, you can all relate to this analogy. Hopefully, this analogy will encourage those who are scared of relationships or rejection and help them find a fun way to look at their situation. 

Last year, one of my really good friends got into a relationship and  began to freak herself out about the whole thing. (I think it's a right of passage when you are in the dating world.) We had several conversations during her relationship—one of which led to a rather interesting analogy. Knowing that girls like to shop, I told her to look at dating like she shops for shoes.

Crazy, right? Not really. Think about how you shop for shoes. Do you go into the store, grab a box off the shelf, buy it without trying it on, and walk out? If you do, you're a minority, and with all due respect, probably crazy or have an obsession with making returns.

We all know different brands fit differently. A size 8 in Nike may not be the same size 8 in Adidas or Reebok. Leather fits differently than fabric. Sandals fit differently than tennis shoes. So, why would dating be any different? Each shoe is a new person to go on a date with. You don't pick a shoe up off the shelf immediately and put it on. You look at it and decide if you even like it enough to try it on. Taking a pair of shoes off the shelf doesn't mean you are purchasing the shoe. Going on a date with a person doesn't guarantee an offer of marriage. Thank goodness!

Once you decide you want to try the shoe on, you put it on and walk around the aisle to see how it fits. Not all shoes are made equal, just like not all dating matches are made equal. Sometimes personalities just don't click, just like some shoes won't work for your feet. Even if you put the shoe on, it doesn't mean you are buying the shoe.

Girls look for a second opinion before making a purchase. That's why we go shopping with friends, and shoe shopping is not an exception to this rule. This phase of the shoe shopping is no different than the potential significant other meeting friends and family. You're just getting a second opinion. At this point, you may take the shoe off, walk around some more in the shoe, or decide you want to make the purchase. Either way, you still haven't bought the shoe. The box can go back on the shelf at any time and you can choose to walk away.

When you do finally find a shoe that fits right, is the right price, and have your confirming second opinion from the friend or family you are shopping with, that's when you make the purchase. See how it fits? (No pun intended.)

So, next time you are freaking yourself out about a relationship, or know someone who is freaking themselves out about their relationship, just tell them they're shopping for shoes. Parts of the experience aren't always positive. (Just ask my mom—she hates going shoe shopping with me.) But, in the end it's worth the time spent when you walk out with a perfect fit. No one wants to go through life without shoes....ever. Imagine a 10 mile hike in bare feet. Ouch! That's why we have shoe stores!

Start shopping and have some fun. You don't have to purchase the shoes, just start browsing and see what happens.

Learning from the Grand Canyon

The Grand Canyon from the airplane window.

A couple of weeks ago I flew down to Phoenix to visit my sister for a quick trip. As I was flying home, I got to see the Grand Canyon from the window of the airplane as the sun was rising. I've flown over the Grand Canyon multiple times, but never in the early morning. I could see the layers upon layers of rock, the sharp ridges, and the varying shades of red and brown. I always felt like I was looking at a map when I flew over it before. The rising sun gave me a whole new perspective of that Canyon. I was struck at just how big it was and I started to think about how long it took for the Grand Canyon to become that majestic. Those thoughts reminded me of a talk given during the October General Conference last year of how each of us is a house the Lord is building. We may be looking to become a cottage, while the Lord is rebuilding us to be a mansion or castle.

The Grand Canyon wasn't a big, spectacular site when the world started. Erosion happened over hundreds of thousands of years. It probably started out like a little stream. I'm not sure of all the water, wind and earthquakes that it took to make such a large crevice in the earth, but I'm sure it wasn't an easy transformation. Imagine being the Grand Canyon with thousands of years passing while the water and wind are slowly wearing you down. I'd feel beat up, tired, and happy to just stay that little stream – comfortable with it. So, why change? I'm sure that little stream had no idea that it would become one of the wonders of the world. The rock bed that was slowly worn away had no idea of the beauty that would be revealed.

How are we any different? We start out this life like a little stream flowing pleasantly down a rock bed. With each storm the water flows faster, breaking away rocks and wearing the stream deeper. Each of us are being reshaped and transformed into a personal, majestic work of art. We don't see it now, but it's happening. With each trial, each struggle, each heartache, we are being transformed by the Lord to learn and grow and prove ourselves worthy. We are spiritual beings having a mortal experience on earth. We came hear to learn. We may not always like or appreciate the lesson being taught at the time, but hind sight is 20/20.

Just like a piano student hates to practice when they first start learning to play, each of us won't enter willingly into some of life's trials. However, just like a piano student who keeps practicing will come to love playing the piano, so will each of us look back on our mortal experience with fondness because of what we have become.

Unfortunately, this life wasn't meant to be easy. Fortunately, we have not been asked to go through this life alone.

"Fear not, I am with thee; oh be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand. Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand."

~ How Firm A Foundation, LDS Hymn Book, Verse 3 ~