Just Keep Paddling

Last week I went on vacation with my mom and my brother and his family. We went up to the beautiful paradise that is Waterton Lakes National Park, Alberta, Canada. Growing up, Waterton was like a second home to me. We had a great time but it was very different not having my dad there. All part of finding a new normal and adjusting.

Heading out from Farmer's Bay for our kayaking adventure.

While we were there, my brother decided we should go on the kayaking trip he had done two years ago. So, my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephew, my cousin, and I all went. We started the trip on a beautiful, calm, clear morning. The lower lake was smooth as glass, which is highly unusual for Waterton because there is ALWAYS wind. It was beautiful! The sun was shining, there were very few clouds in the sky, it was a perfect day for a kayaking trip. Or so we thought. . .

Scott, Tyler, Stacy and Jenny on Lower Waterton Lake. 
Jason is taking the picture. This is one of the last pictures we
took before his camera died.

About an hour in, we heard thunder out on the prairie. When the lightning started, my brother told us to keep to the shore line so that we wouldn't become lightning rods out in the middle of the lake with aluminum oars. So, we stuck to the shore for safety's sake. The storm rolled in VERY fast. We were paddling about 10 yards off the shore when a huge wind storm started up. We hastily pulled out, dragged the 5 kayaks to a tree, and made a shelter. It started to rain just as the last kayak was put into place. Storms normally pass quickly in Waterton, so we weren't too concerned and just planned to wait out the wind. At this point, we couldn't just end the trip. We weren't anywhere near a road for my mom to meet us and pick up the kayaks, so we had to keep going.  Just as the wind died down, the hailstorm started. I must say, kayaks make pretty good shelters for hailstorms.

Once the storm passed, we hopped back in the kayaks and called my mom to tell her we would be 20 minutes later than planned because we had to pull out and asked her to pick us up at a pull out closer than the original pick-up location. As we started paddling again, I realized just how tired my arms were. My cousin, Scott, and my sister-in-law, Stacy, were close to my kayak. I jokingly stated that this experience of paddling in the rain had to be a metaphor for life. Stacy laughed and said, "Surely I could use this in a gospel doctrine lesson!" And we kept paddling, hoping the river would show up soon so we could get out before the rain got worse.

Our luck for the trip held out. We got to the pull out and talked with two fisherman there that said the road was closed and they had to hike in. Jason, my brother, made another call to my mom and told her to go back to plan A. We continued on the river, all of us tired. Half way through the river we encountered another hailstorm. This time, there was no where for us to pull out. I've never been caught in a hailstorm without shelter, but I pity those who have now. I know what it's like to have pea-sized hailstones pelting your bare arms. Luckily I had a baseball cap and sunglasses on so I could still see. However, when the wind picked up with the hailstones, I had to put the nose of my kayak into the bank. My cousin Scott was with me and I told him if I was going to make it to the end of the lake, I wouldn't be able to paddle against the wind. He anchored with me and waited out the hailstorm.

The pull-out at Knight's Lake. My mom took this picture
to show the "Soaked Ragamuffins" at the end of the trip.

 We finally got out of the river and onto the last lake. It's amazing how close a shore can look and yet be so far away. We saw the two cars watching for us on the lookout and I knew the end was in sight. I was so close to being done kayaking in the rain. We were drenched, hungry, and cold. We started cutting across the lake and my mom was waving at us. I was exhausted at this point and really didn't want to keep pulling. I was so tempted to just stop and let the wind blow me wherever it wanted to. I mentioned this to my cousin and he so wisely said, "Well Jenny, if you are going to do that, you may as well paddle all the way back to the beginning." I cringed at that thought, put my focus on my mom and started singing, "Just keep paddling. Just keep paddling. Just keep paddling, paddling, paddling." Over and over again, until I reached the shore. Our two hour trip turned into three and a half hours. That was the end of my kayaking trips for the week.

This kayaking trip, in a way, represents the last year of my life. The journey started out smooth, calm, beautiful and exciting. That was last summer for me when I got engaged and married. Then the storms hit. My husband, Reed, started getting very ill. The first hailstorm represented Reed's car accident and passing. My family, friends, and the temple provided shelter from that storm. Just like you can't stop living and give up, we had to get back in the kayaks and start paddling again. Our journey wasn't done. The rain continued, but we pressed forward with the end goal in mind. The second hailstorm was my dad's passing. We had no choice but to face it and keep moving. I stopped momentarily, but I didn't give up. The final leg of the journey on the river and the second lake in the rain represents what I'm pushing through now.

My picture of triumph. I made it through!

I've had two really big hailstorms in my life in the last six months, but I've had to keep paddling. My end goal is to obtain the blessings of eternity, to be with Reed and my dad again! Life is full of storms, whether it is rain, hail, snow, or thunder. We are all on the kayak trip of life. I was reminded that I can do hard things, I can keep paddling when I feel like giving up. I was reminded that I can face hard things and keep paddling!

I got in the kayak that morning looking forward to a nice calm ride. I got so much more! That experience keeps coming back to me. On my toughest days, when I want to give up, I hear myself singing, "Just keep paddling" while kayaking in a storm across a lake.

It IS possible. The trip WILL end. The blue skies WILL return. 

JUST KEEP PADDLING!