I've always struggled with patience. If things weren't happening fast enough for me, I'd figure out a way to speed up the process. My dad told me once that I often created opportunities for myself when one didn't seem to be available, and it frequently wore him out. I'm annoyingly impatient when I want to know something. I like to have a plan for myself. Unfortunately, or maybe not so unfortunately, my plans are NEVER the Lord's plans. I definitely don't understand the Lord's path for me when it's slowly placed brick by brick. I don't have the benefit of the yellow brick road that I can see forever and know exactly where I'm going. I live by what I call "Blind Faith". Let me explain, because I'm pretty sure my definition will be different than most people.
My life is a prime example of not being able to see the full path ahead. It's like I have a candle in my hand and all I can see in front of me is maybe half a step. I call it "Blind Faith" because I have faith that the Lord will lead me where I need to go and won't let me stray off the path as long as I am doing my part, however, I can't see the step I'm about to take. I'm blind to where my foot will land half the time, but I try to have the faith to take that step anyways. Sometimes I feel like the Lord has to push me a little to take that step, but whether I'm completely ready or not, that step happens. Hind site is 20/20 though. Look back at your experiences and you'll start to see where the Lord has brought you, why He brought you there, what you have learned and how you have grown. Patience I believe is one of my life-long trials that I will continually be learning.Time is an interesting thing. If you consider you have 24 hours in a day, how do you divide that up? How do you spend your time? On average we sleep 6 to 10 hours of each day. If you have a full-time job, you are working 8 to 9 hours of that day. Where does family come in? Hobbies? Education? Religion? Do you spend your spare time gaming? Facebooking? Do you even interact with others? Or is your face and hands glued to some gadget like a phone or an iPad? We will be accountable for every minute we spend, how will your report card in heaven look? Will you be able to say you spent your time developing your talents and serving others? How many memories will you have to look back on with your family? Both my husband and my father were taken from this life very suddenly and very unexpectedly. I'd give anything to have more time with both of them on this earth because I miss them desperately, but I know this was God's will and I will have eternity to be with them again.
My dad is a perfect example of someone who used his time wisely. He lived just over 60 years. In that 60 years he graduated with a BS degree from BYU, got married, raised a family of 4, helped pay for piano lessons, vocal lessons, dance lessons, etc to develop his children's talents. He took his family on vacations, spent time serving others and working to cultivate a beautiful garden, he taught his kids how to work hard, how to finish a job, and how to offer their time serving others as well. He taught us how to treat our mother and how to love others, he was my ultimate example of a patient individual. His family came first before work. There was no question to if he loved each child and my mom. We knew he did. His time was shorter than most on this earth, but he used it wisely. I hope I can say as much for myself when I have to answer for my time.I've struggled a lot lately with emotions and wanting to take that next step forward on the path. It's true that after someone passes that is close to you, everyone else can go on with their life, things go back to normal for them. However, for the people most intimately effected by the change or loss, normal is gone. A new normal has to be developed. How do you find that normal? I think the answer will be different for each person. But there is one similarity, a path must be chosen. Some will chose the path of least resistance. They sit and wait for life to act upon them because they feel discouraged and give up or don't know where to start rebuilding. Others wake up each day, face the world, and set goals to achieve. I can promise you that choosing to act, instead of choosing to be acted upon, will yield far better results and lead to happiness faster. If you aim for nothing, you WILL hit it.
I've been reading a book for work and there is a quote in it that I thought was very fitting:
"When we begin with the end in mind, we have a personal direction to guide our daily activities, without which we will accomplish little toward our own goals. Beginning with the end in mind is part of the process of personal leadership."
~ Stephen Covey ~
After my husband passed away, I decided it was time to learn a new instrument, so I am attempting to learn the cello. It's going slower than I originally planned, as my life took another turn in crazy when my dad passed away. It's a release. Since my dad passed away, I've started gardening, mainly out of necessity, but I'm finding I really enjoy it. I'm also looking at getting a Master's degree. My "end in mind" is a new normal that I can be happy with, that will help develop my skills and make me a better instrument in the Lord's hands. An end that will make both my husband and my dad proud! An end that will eventually lead me back to my Heavenly Father's presence!
FIND AN END IN MIND & REACH FOR IT!
I've started gardening recently too :) It's relaxing for me, even with the occational gross bugs... and my plants are growing out of control! I have to pull the squash back from the lawn often, and pull back the cucumber tendrils that want to strangle my eggplant.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting too how things like someone passing on will emphasise how important the time we are given is. My husband (who is currently in prison) tells me often that he doesn't miss the video games, he doesn't miss his computer, all that stuff that used to push out time with his family. What he misses is sitting and talking, or enjoying a walk, fishing with his friends or family, or helping other people. It's the time with people that he misses. Looking forward to all those little things and realizing that no matter how long this trial here takes - we'll have the rest of eternity for all those little things, is what gets us through it. Not patiently :) but through it none the less.