What I Learned from Snails

Eighteen months ago, I was called to serve as a leader in the Young Women's organization at church. With this calling, I was also put in charge of Personal Progress. In the program, the leaders are encouraged to work on Personal Progress along with the girls. So, I chose to grow and maintain a vegetable garden over the summer to fulfill one of the projects. I learned more than I expected.

Part of the garden included a plan for a small pumpkin patch and I frequently checked on the progress of the plants. For two weeks, I watched the progress of the pumpkin plants with pride and anticipation for how great the pumpkins would be.

Then, one day I went out and noticed that one of the pumpkin plants had been chopped off. At least that's what I thought had happened. The second pumpkin plant looked slightly tattered and the leaves seemed to be torn. I was really confused and thought maybe it wasn't getting enough water. So, I made sure to leave the water on longer to give it a boost.

I went out the next day to check on the surviving plant and found it to had been chopped to the ground, too. At this point, I realized something wasn't right and began to look around the garden for signs of what had happened. That's when I came across several snails hiding in the flower bed next to the vegetable garden. That's when I realized, the pumpkin plants hadn't been cut and vandalized by some cruel neighbor. No, they had been eaten by the nasty snails in the garden. I was both furious and sad. My beautiful pumpkin plants were gone!

Once the cause of the problem was discovered, I left for the hardware store, purchased several bags of poison to take care of the snails, and also bought new pumpkin plants to replace the devoured patch. From that day on, I had a vendetta against slugs and snails and went through several bags of poison. Luckily, my abrasive actions and unwillingness to surrender allowed us to have the pumpkins we hoped for.

This turned into a great metaphor for me and I now understand why growing a garden is one of the suggested activities to learn more about faith. When I started the project, I thought the goal was to have faith that a seed would produce fruit or vegetables and that faith and a garden had to be constantly cared for. It turns out that the lesson I learned was deeper than I expected. Yes, faith must be cared for, just like a garden must be watered and weeded. The pumpkin plants represented the faith each of us have. Faith has potential to grow into something great, but we must be diligent. I was not diligent in protecting new pumpkin plants from snails that saw the plant as dinner. Worldly influences can be like the snails and slowly devour our faith if we don't protect ourselves and do the gospel basics to keep us strong like praying, reading the scriptures, and going to church.

If for some reason our faith is attacked and diminished, the Lord allows us to repent and start over. Just like I had to replant the pumpkins and continue to lay snail bait the rest of the summer, we also have the opportunity to make things right, adjust our course, and put up protective barriers to help us stay strong. It may take work and it may not always be easy, but the reward at the end is irreplaceable and so incredibly worth it!

Finding the Perfect Fit: What Shoe Shopping and Dating have in Common.

Have you ever been in a relationship and been dumped or watched a friend go through a relationship? You're not alone. For those who are currently going through this phase of their life, and even those who have graduated from being single, you can all relate to this analogy. Hopefully, this analogy will encourage those who are scared of relationships or rejection and help them find a fun way to look at their situation. 

Last year, one of my really good friends got into a relationship and  began to freak herself out about the whole thing. (I think it's a right of passage when you are in the dating world.) We had several conversations during her relationship—one of which led to a rather interesting analogy. Knowing that girls like to shop, I told her to look at dating like she shops for shoes.

Crazy, right? Not really. Think about how you shop for shoes. Do you go into the store, grab a box off the shelf, buy it without trying it on, and walk out? If you do, you're a minority, and with all due respect, probably crazy or have an obsession with making returns.

We all know different brands fit differently. A size 8 in Nike may not be the same size 8 in Adidas or Reebok. Leather fits differently than fabric. Sandals fit differently than tennis shoes. So, why would dating be any different? Each shoe is a new person to go on a date with. You don't pick a shoe up off the shelf immediately and put it on. You look at it and decide if you even like it enough to try it on. Taking a pair of shoes off the shelf doesn't mean you are purchasing the shoe. Going on a date with a person doesn't guarantee an offer of marriage. Thank goodness!

Once you decide you want to try the shoe on, you put it on and walk around the aisle to see how it fits. Not all shoes are made equal, just like not all dating matches are made equal. Sometimes personalities just don't click, just like some shoes won't work for your feet. Even if you put the shoe on, it doesn't mean you are buying the shoe.

Girls look for a second opinion before making a purchase. That's why we go shopping with friends, and shoe shopping is not an exception to this rule. This phase of the shoe shopping is no different than the potential significant other meeting friends and family. You're just getting a second opinion. At this point, you may take the shoe off, walk around some more in the shoe, or decide you want to make the purchase. Either way, you still haven't bought the shoe. The box can go back on the shelf at any time and you can choose to walk away.

When you do finally find a shoe that fits right, is the right price, and have your confirming second opinion from the friend or family you are shopping with, that's when you make the purchase. See how it fits? (No pun intended.)

So, next time you are freaking yourself out about a relationship, or know someone who is freaking themselves out about their relationship, just tell them they're shopping for shoes. Parts of the experience aren't always positive. (Just ask my mom—she hates going shoe shopping with me.) But, in the end it's worth the time spent when you walk out with a perfect fit. No one wants to go through life without shoes....ever. Imagine a 10 mile hike in bare feet. Ouch! That's why we have shoe stores!

Start shopping and have some fun. You don't have to purchase the shoes, just start browsing and see what happens.

My Most Cherished Memory

I've been taking writing workshops at work. One of the topics we were given to write about in a session was our most cherished memory. As I started writing, I realized I couldn't pin it down to just one. Instead, I ended up with a collection of cherished memories that centered around one theme. I've shared the memories that stood out first below.

Growing up we drove to Southern Alberta several times a year to visit my mom's parents. These car rides were  tedious because we were stuck in a car for 12 hours. However, they also left priceless time for making memories and bonding.

Shortly after CDs came out, my brother bought a transmitter that would connect to the car radio. We were listening to a CD and a song came on that my mom was not particularly a fan of. The chorus of the song, Return to Innocence, drove her crazy. Being the kids we were, we found it hilarious and made it a tradition to play the song during every road trip to Canada. The best part was my dad joined in. Instead of turning the radio off, he would turn the volume up. My mother never knew when the song would come, but when it did it was loud and we all sang along just to annoy her and entertain ourselves at the same time. This is one of those continuing experiences that we still laugh about as a family.

Every trip to Canada also involved staying with my grandparents. Their basement created a great area for kids to play games. One summer, we played roller blade hockey with ping pong balls and paddles in their basement, using old chairs as the goals. It's amazing we didn't break anything, including bones. My grandparents never got mad at us for the noise or the mess we made. I think they liked hearing the laughter and shouts coming up the stairs.

The last memory that stood out was a fall trip to Canada. My grandparents lived in an old neighborhood with big trees, so there were lots of leaves to rake. We spent hours raking the leaves into a large pile and then took turns jumping into them. I still remember my grandpa sitting on the porch laughing at the simplicity of our game and the joy it brought.

My family as of April 2013.

What do all these memories mean? It means time spent with my family produces my most cherished memories. There is more than one memory I can list, but at the root of each memory is my family. There's not much you can take with you when you leave this mortal existence. Family and your relationships with others is something you can take. The time I've spent with my family is my most cherished memory because it's continuous and never ends.

My family is part of what defines who I am. What helps define you? If you don't have an answer, take a few minutes and figure out what your most cherished memories are. Whatever is at the root, is most likely the thing that has impacted you the most for the better.

A Different Look at Valentine's Day

First, let me admit that Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday. When I was single the first time, I called it "Single's Awareness Day." I got so sick of seeing all the stuffed animals and heart candies in the store, and especially tired of all the commercials about jewelry (which is surprising because I like jewelry). Not only was it a reminder that, once again, no one was buying me flowers, but it also seemed so superficial. If you need Valentine's Day to show your special someone that you think they are special, then something is wrong with your relationship. You should be showing them how special they are on any day of the year because you want to, not because the calendar or commercials told you to.

I entered February trying to find a reason to like Valentine's Day. I even looked up the history of the stupid holiday and didn't manage to find anything that made it valid in my mind. It wasn't until I received one of Meg Johnson's monthly messages that something finally clicked.

For those of you who are like me and strongly dislike this holiday, let me present a new way of looking at it. Instead of focusing on the fact that you are single and no one is giving you jewelry or flowers, focus on the little things in life that people have done for you, or that you can do for them.

As I started thinking about Valentine's Day in this way, I remembered the numerous emails that I have received from people since I started this blog, most of whom I barely know or don't know at all. I have received messages of thanks for sharing my story. Others have offered encouragement and support. These messages have picked me up when I needed it most. It's been truly touching.

So, in my new spirit of Valentine's Day, I would like to thank each of you who have supported me or lifted me in one way or another. You've been a little miracle in my life. When I started this blog, I didn't think anyone would read it, or that it would make a difference. It's funny how things work themselves out, even if it is in some small and simple way.

My challenge to you for this Valentine's Day is that instead of feeling bad that you are, once again, facing this holiday alone, find someone to serve. Trust me, it will make all the difference in the world. And maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to look at Valentine's Day a little differently too.

The Blessing of Children

As I've gotten older, I often feel like some of the magic has left things like Christmas, Disneyland, and especially snow. The last few months, I've been reminded of just how magical life can be because there's nothing like seeing the world through a child's eyes.

I went to Disneyland with my sister's family in October. I never tire of Disneyland, but there is a new element added when you are there with an 18 month old and a 4 year old. Watching them was so much fun! There was excitement and wonder in their faces as they discovered the magic of Disney.

We just celebrated Christmas. My youngest niece would gasp every time she opened a present. It didn't matter if it was a toy or clothing. She gasped! How often do you gasp with excitement for every gift you receive?

Tubing with my niece and nephew.

I usually am not a fan of snow. It's cold and wet, and in turn, makes me wet and cold. My nieces are up from Arizona and absolutely love the snow. They were so excited that there were snowflakes falling from the sky and had to make sure every one knew about it. We played in the snow and we took them tubing. I haven't been tubing in years, but I was reminded of how much fun it was.

The lesson in all this? Don't forget the magic of childhood. More importantly, make time for the things that matter most, like family and making memories that will last.

In the end, it's your relationship with others that matters most. 
So make the most of it.

Come Thou Fount

Artwork by Greg Olsen

Have you ever noticed that trials come as packages? The familiar saying, "When it rains, it pours" is frequently used to describe life's trials. I have found when it comes to dealing with trials, you can choose to go one of two ways. The first path is to become angry and bitter and turn away from the Lord. The second is to become more humble and accepting of the Lord's will.

Sometimes I struggle to feel positive about my situation. However, my frustrations have never been directed at the Lord. I've never considered turning away. Slowly, but surely, I'm learning to hand my will over to my Father in Heaven and accept His plan for me. I'm learning to laugh at the situations I've been in, mainly because sometimes the only thing left to do IS laugh.

Lately I've been very overwhelmed with juggling work, school, my church calling, and chores around the house. Trying to find that balance is difficult, yet the Lord will make up the difference. One of my favorite hymns is Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. The message contained in that song is beautiful. It speaks of mercy from heaven, angels' protection, the atonement, and ends with handing your heart over to the Lord. What a testimony this song is of the Lord's love for each of us.

My hope is that if you are going through trials, you will choose to take the path that leads to a humble heart and accepting the Lord's will. I'm a firm believer in the power of music. So, if you are struggling with which path to choose in your own struggle with trials, listen to this song and see where your heart takes you. You don't have to be perfect. That's why the Savior gave His life for us and provided a way for each of us to be forgiven and return to Him.

Half Empty or Half Full?

I recently watched Disney's Finding Nemo with my nieces and nephews. I love the story they tell in this movie because there are so many moments that relate to life. In the movie, Marlin is searching for his son and meets another fish named Dory. Marlin and Dory are complete opposites.

Marlin is very realistic and synical, what some would call a pessimist. Dory, on the other hand, is happy and intensely optimistic. Toward the end of the show, Marlin and Dory are inside a whale and the water starts to go down in the whale's mouth. Marlin starts to get upset and states, "The water's going down! Look, it's already half empty."

Dory immediately responds, "Huh, I'd say it's more half full." Dory is a great example of someone who makes the best of every situation, no matter what.

I'm sure you've all heard the question posed, "Is the glass half empty? Or, is the glass half full?"Next time you take a look at a glass, ask yourself that question, "Which is it, half empty or half full?"

If you are constantly looking at the glass half empty, you will most likely view life the same way. There is no reason for a glass not to be considered half full. Start calling it that, and soon it will stick.

Even on your toughest days, find something, anything to start filling that glass. You'll be surprised at the effect it will have. Be a Dory, and watch how it spreads to others.