A New Perspective

Do you ever feel like you are fighting a losing battle? I do, more often than I'd like to admit. I have learned a valuable lesson over the last two weeks, one I hope I never forget.

Life is full of teaching moments it seems. Most lessons are not welcomed at the time they are being taught. Some, I think we bring upon ourselves. Others, I believe the Lord places before us for reasons beyond our understanding. The lesson I have learned over the last two weeks is one I have brought upon myself, but one the Lord guided me through with the help of some very dear friends.

I have come to know that Satan's best way of getting at me is through discouragement and self-doubt. Since before my husband passed away I have considered creating a vocal CD of hymn arrangements. At the time, it was a fleeting dream, but there wasn't much ambition behind it. After Reed passed, the ambition for the CD came as a promise of healing for me and others beyond my limited view. When my father passed, the idea of releasing my own CD became a stronger ambition. Two weeks ago, I made the mistake of allowing self-doubt to enter my mind. I made the mistake of comparing my talents to others. It was a foolish thing to do. Every person that walks this earth is unique, has unique gifts and talents, and has a special purpose and mission in this life. To compare oneself to another only destroys what God has intended for each of us. The apostles constantly warn of the dangers of comparing oneself to another. We should cherish the gifts we have and strive to develop new ones. Not get caught up in what we don't have, or what we wish we had. I fell into the trap of comparing.

I began talking to a friend about my lack of confidence and questioned why I would be crazy enough to even consider releasing a CD. She told me to stop comparing myself to other people, told me that if I had the desire I should do it and not worry if the CD was a success or not. She offered such positive advice, unfortunately it took a few more days to sink in. I had just about talked myself out of trying when I had a talk with another friend. Something clicked during that discussion. She also talked about the dangers of comparing myself to others. She reminded me that it was a slippery slope to a downward spiral. She then turned her focus to asking why I had initially wanted to try to release a CD. I shared my desire to help myself heal from the trauma of the last year, as well as the hope that the music would help others find peace, hope and healing as well. She then asked me a simple question that had a huge impact.

"If your goal is to offer hope and healing to others, 

shouldn't success be measured by helping even one person?"

For some reason, phrasing it that way finally knocked some sense into me. I suddenly realized it didn't matter if I sold 1, 100 or even 1,000 CDs. It didn't matter if I had an amazing voice that would top the charts. What mattered was the message and the feeling behind the words. When I do manage to arrange music, I feel guided toward the melody. I never feel I can claim the ownership of the arrangement because I know I had help, it's never all me. The music is a way for me to share my testimony with others. Even if I only get rid of one CD, I will have succeeded. My testimony will have reached at least one person, and if my prayers are answered, in some way, the music on the CD will help that one person find hope and healing at some point during their mortal journey.  As soon as that

"Let Your Light So Shine" by Simon Dewey

realization clicked, the discouragement I had felt for two weeks was gone! Even if I only touched one person, I would make a difference somehow.

I don't know what the Lord has planned for me. I don't know what lies ahead on my path. I do know that He is there guiding me, He is guiding each of us. We are never left alone! What a blessing to know that we are loved that much by a Heavenly Father! We are destined for greater things!

As I was sitting in sacrament today, I opened the Hymn book and it just happened to open to one of my dad's favorite hymns, "How Firm a Foundation". I have often read versus three, four, and five, but for some reason today, I was drawn to verse 7:

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never,

I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

What a strong reminder. Before, I had wondered if the Lord was hearing my prayers. Everything clicked today. He was there, He had heard. He had answered my prayers through friends who cared for me. He had helped me piece the puzzles together to remind myself that I should not doubt the testimony I have been given. Satan is giving his best shot at pulling me down, I have a renewed desire singing inside of me, "I'll never, no never, no never forsake!" God lives and loves each of us. He is there and He hears our prayers. He may not come when we call, but He will come on time!

Make Me A Spoon!

I heard this poem once in Young Women's a long time ago. It's called "Make Me A Spoon"

All silverware is made to serve, but the different pieces serve in different ways.
 

Forks stab.  "This is mine," they say.  Bits of meat, carrots, pickles, salad and cheese.  "This, this and  this are mine," says the fork. "Everything for me, me, me."  And soon every last morsel on the plate has been pinned by the spear of the selfish fork.
 

Knives cut.  "Too big," says the knife.  Slice.  Cut.   Chop.  Dice. Everything must change its shape to satisfy the whim of the knife. Nothing is right as it is.  Everything needs paring down, carving or separating.
 

Spoons serve:  cereal, soup, peas -- all the impossible foods can be handled comfortably from the
smooth bowl of the spoon.  Spoons say, "Here, let me help you.  We can manage together." 

MAKE ME A SPOON, LORD!

I don't know about you, but often in my prayers I ask the Lord to guide me to someone that I might serve. There are many quotes and scriptures about losing yourself in service to overcome your own troubles. Having tested this theory early in life, I knew after my husband passed away that it would work again. I needed opportunities to serve others, I wanted to be a spoon. Opportunities are everywhere, we just have to look for them and follow the Spirit. One thing I have learned in praying for opportunities, if you are serious about wanting to serve, then you need to act on the promptings you receive.

I don't know why the poem about silverware stuck with me. Maybe it's because I have met people that are so concerned about themselves that they don't stop to see the world around them (Fork People). I have also met people that are never happy with what they have and always want things to change or people to change to fit their needs (Knife People). Then there are the earthly angels (Spoon People). You probably know many of them. Spoon People always uplift and never cut you down,  they will drop everything to help someone, even a stranger. They are people who are OK with a phone call in the middle of the night just because a friend needs a listening ear. Spoons are a great metaphor for service.

I had an opportunity one day after work to be a spoon. I was leaving work later than usual and as I was walking out of my building an older gentleman stopped me. He seemed distressed and very embarrassed. He was struggling financially and had some medical issues. The more he explained, the more embarrassed he became. He was very quick to say he was not requesting money, but asked if I would be willing to buy him a sandwich because he hadn't eaten all day. I agreed to buy him dinner and started walking toward the cafe inside my office building. The poor guy was very embarrassed that he was asking for help and asked if I would get him the food and bring it out. I went in, bought him food, and brought it out to him. I also told him about the Bishop's store house and suggested that he go there and they might be able to help him. He kept thanking me for my kindness and further explained that he had been praying for the Lord to guide him to someone that would help him.

I haven't seen that man back on the Plaza outside Temple Square. I don't know what led him to Temple Square. I don't know what happened to him after we parted. What I do know is this, that morning I had prayed for an opportunity to serve someone in need and my prayer was answered. I was able to offer a ray of sunshine to someone who had been pleading for help. It was a simple thing to buy a stranger a sandwich, especially compared to the sacrifice the Savior made for each of us. I am so grateful that the Lord was able to answer my prayer and give me a chance to serve a stranger. I had a chance to be a spoon. What will you be?