A New Perspective

Do you ever feel like you are fighting a losing battle? I do, more often than I'd like to admit. I have learned a valuable lesson over the last two weeks, one I hope I never forget.

Life is full of teaching moments it seems. Most lessons are not welcomed at the time they are being taught. Some, I think we bring upon ourselves. Others, I believe the Lord places before us for reasons beyond our understanding. The lesson I have learned over the last two weeks is one I have brought upon myself, but one the Lord guided me through with the help of some very dear friends.

I have come to know that Satan's best way of getting at me is through discouragement and self-doubt. Since before my husband passed away I have considered creating a vocal CD of hymn arrangements. At the time, it was a fleeting dream, but there wasn't much ambition behind it. After Reed passed, the ambition for the CD came as a promise of healing for me and others beyond my limited view. When my father passed, the idea of releasing my own CD became a stronger ambition. Two weeks ago, I made the mistake of allowing self-doubt to enter my mind. I made the mistake of comparing my talents to others. It was a foolish thing to do. Every person that walks this earth is unique, has unique gifts and talents, and has a special purpose and mission in this life. To compare oneself to another only destroys what God has intended for each of us. The apostles constantly warn of the dangers of comparing oneself to another. We should cherish the gifts we have and strive to develop new ones. Not get caught up in what we don't have, or what we wish we had. I fell into the trap of comparing.

I began talking to a friend about my lack of confidence and questioned why I would be crazy enough to even consider releasing a CD. She told me to stop comparing myself to other people, told me that if I had the desire I should do it and not worry if the CD was a success or not. She offered such positive advice, unfortunately it took a few more days to sink in. I had just about talked myself out of trying when I had a talk with another friend. Something clicked during that discussion. She also talked about the dangers of comparing myself to others. She reminded me that it was a slippery slope to a downward spiral. She then turned her focus to asking why I had initially wanted to try to release a CD. I shared my desire to help myself heal from the trauma of the last year, as well as the hope that the music would help others find peace, hope and healing as well. She then asked me a simple question that had a huge impact.

"If your goal is to offer hope and healing to others, 

shouldn't success be measured by helping even one person?"

For some reason, phrasing it that way finally knocked some sense into me. I suddenly realized it didn't matter if I sold 1, 100 or even 1,000 CDs. It didn't matter if I had an amazing voice that would top the charts. What mattered was the message and the feeling behind the words. When I do manage to arrange music, I feel guided toward the melody. I never feel I can claim the ownership of the arrangement because I know I had help, it's never all me. The music is a way for me to share my testimony with others. Even if I only get rid of one CD, I will have succeeded. My testimony will have reached at least one person, and if my prayers are answered, in some way, the music on the CD will help that one person find hope and healing at some point during their mortal journey.  As soon as that

"Let Your Light So Shine" by Simon Dewey

realization clicked, the discouragement I had felt for two weeks was gone! Even if I only touched one person, I would make a difference somehow.

I don't know what the Lord has planned for me. I don't know what lies ahead on my path. I do know that He is there guiding me, He is guiding each of us. We are never left alone! What a blessing to know that we are loved that much by a Heavenly Father! We are destined for greater things!

As I was sitting in sacrament today, I opened the Hymn book and it just happened to open to one of my dad's favorite hymns, "How Firm a Foundation". I have often read versus three, four, and five, but for some reason today, I was drawn to verse 7:

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never,

I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

What a strong reminder. Before, I had wondered if the Lord was hearing my prayers. Everything clicked today. He was there, He had heard. He had answered my prayers through friends who cared for me. He had helped me piece the puzzles together to remind myself that I should not doubt the testimony I have been given. Satan is giving his best shot at pulling me down, I have a renewed desire singing inside of me, "I'll never, no never, no never forsake!" God lives and loves each of us. He is there and He hears our prayers. He may not come when we call, but He will come on time!